Madiba’s man on leadership

By Carel Nolte

I met Rory Steyn via our shared interest (obsession!) with the Comrades Marathon – both of us having been elected as new board members at the end of 2024. Of course, I knew of Rory, having read One Step Behind Mandela: The Story of Rory Steyn, Nelson Mandela’s Chief Bodyguard. And via my mate Shaun Keeling who has long supported Rory’s charity The ABSA African Icons who do superb work raising funds for families of members of our police force who were killed in the line of duty (this year EasyEquities was honoured to be a part of the team).

Rory is an imposing man – physically large and when you talk to him, he is fully engaged – well, fully but also always with an eye on a sports broadcast – especially if his son is playing rugby for Scotland! He is super smart, with an encyclopaedic knowledge of the Comrades, cricket, rugby and many other sports. And Rory has a curiosity and genuine interest in people. So an ideal companion to drink red wine with – and shoot the breeze while finding solutions for all the world’s problems. Which is what we did this week while in Durban for Comrades work.

Having walked the Otter Trail wth Rory recently, I knew the man had stories but an afternoon on the deck of the Elangeni, enjoying the finest Warwick has to offer, revealed even more. As we brainstormed some of our plans for Comrades 2027 (the 100th running) we touched on leadership – and Rory shared some of what he spoke about at a recent ADvTECH principals’ conference (Rory’s wife is an educational leader, and so I am even more fond of the family!)

With his permission, I share (an edited portion of) his speech as I found it inspirational and useful as we navigate “leadership”, “rolemodelling” and “values” in a world that seems intent on pushing people to pick sides and to be hardline. We can learn from Madiba, from Rory and I encourage all of us to share more of our stories and more stories of those who came before us. Enjoy!

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 It’s a great privilege to talk about a man who changed the world — and, quite frankly, changed me. Very profoundly. I had the great fortune — and I use that word deliberately — of serving President Nelson Mandela for five years as part of his protection team. Those years remain the most profound leadership education I could ever have received.

And so, today, I‘ve been asked to share some of the lessons in leadership that I learned not from textbooks or boardrooms, but from the quiet, consistent, deeply human example of Madiba himself.

For five unforgettable years, I had the privilege of serving President Nelson Mandela as part of his protection team. People often ask what it was like working with him — and I tell them, it was like doing a master’s degree in leadership, humanity and humility, all at once.

And the lessons I learned from those years apply just as much to a president leading a nation as to a principal leading a school.

 

1. Leadership is a Privilege

Madiba used to say, “It is better to lead from behind and put others in front — especially when you celebrate victory.”

I watched people around him do that too: e.g. Prof Jakes Gerwel, his “chief of staff”.

He believed that leadership was a privilege, never a possession. And that’s where you, as principals, come in. You lead not for applause or recognition, but because you’re shaping lives.

To lead children — to guide young hearts and minds — is one of the greatest honours anyone can have. I know that’s a cliché, but Madiba taught me that leadership is about service, not status.

2. Servant Leadership and the Common Touch

Madiba embodied servant leadership, he led by example — with humility and warmth. No matter where we went — whether it was Buckingham Palace or a dusty rural village — he always had time for everyone. He believed that leadership starts with humanity. 

He’d stop to greet the waiters, the gardener, the security officers and the police! He shook the hand of every member of the hotel kitchen staff before a Black Tie dinner, Mark Andrews tells the same story from 1995 at Silvermine military base with the Boks — and thanked each one personally.

That’s servant leadership in action: seeing the invisible, valuing the forgotten. And in schools, it’s the same. Your tone, your courtesy, your small acts of respect create the culture your students will carry into the world.  

3. Use Your Team — Everyone Has Something to Offer

Madiba often told us stories from Robben Island. He said that he learned as much from his prison wardens as he did from his fellow inmates. E.g. ‘going to the top’ doesn’t always work. I led a great team: men and women, black and white. It was the MK guys who taught us that everyone in the team has a voice, a say. 

Madiba believed that “It’s better to talk to than fight with your enemy.” He used everyone’s minds — their perspectives, their experiences — to understand, to learn, to lead. And he studied the Afrikaner psyche (because he knew he’d have to negotiate with them) by talking to his prison warders, and, upon his release, invited three of them to his inauguration.

That’s a lesson for every leader: your team is your strength. Whether it’s teachers, cleaners, secretaries, sports coaches or students — everyone has something to offer. The best leaders bring those voices together.

4. Lead by Example

Now, I have to tell you — the man had impeccable manners (more about that later), he was obsessively punctual. If a meeting was at nine, he’d be there at 8:45 latest, seated, ready.  

One day, I was running slightly behind, and as I rushed up the stairs, he looked at me with that famous half-smile and said, “Rory, we cannot protect the country if we cannot keep time.”

Lesson learned. For him, punctuality was respect. And he lived that respect in everything — consistency, discipline, and always doing what he expected of others. He awoke early and exercised – e.g. walks at 05:00 – Houghton, Claremont, Hyde Park and Buckingham Palace. That’s how you build trust — and schools, like nations, run on trust.

5. Emotional Intelligence: The Listener and the Learner

Madiba had a way of making you feel like the most important person in the room. He was a superb listener.

He’d tilt his head slightly, focus completely, and ask thoughtful questions — about your family, your weekend, your children – he knew their names! He was deeply interested in people — not as a tactic, but as a truth.

He also remained insatiably curious. Every morning, he read every newspaper — sometimes several editions. He wanted to stay informed, to understand what his people were thinking and feeling. Gillian Godsell at TGIF reminded us to “Listen with curiosity”.

Leadership, he showed me, isn’t about knowing everything — it’s about wanting to know. It’s about learning, every single day — something teachers and principals know better than anyone.

6. Celebrate Success

Madiba loved celebrating success. When the Springboks lifted the Rugby World Cup in 1995 — that iconic moment with the green jersey and the number six — it wasn’t just sport. It was unity, hope, pride. Speaking at the inaugural Laureus Sports Awards (the ‘Oscars of Sport’) he famously said, “Sport has the power to change the world. It has the power to inspire. It has the power to unite people in a way that little else does.

“Sport speaks to young people in a language they understand…”

He celebrated Ernie Els, Bafana Bafana, Hansie Cronjé and ordinary South Africans who achieved extraordinary things. He believed in recognising effort, not just achievement.

And in schools, that’s gold. When you celebrate your students, your staff, your colleagues — you’re fuelling their belief in themselves. That’s a vital leadership trait. 

7. Humility, Manners, and Gratitude

He had impeccable manners. Always said “please” and “thank you.” He stood when ladies entered a room. E.g. The Queen, Holyrood House, Edinburgh 1997. 

E.g. – stopping to thank the cleaning lady on her hands and knees at the Union Buildings.

Even at the end of exhausting international trips, he’d take time to thank every person on the team — drivers, cooks, security, everyone. He’d shake your hand, look you in the eye, and say, “Thank you, ndabulele.”

Those small courtesies — those acknowledgements — build loyalty and respect. Great leaders don’t demand loyalty; they earn it.

8. Humour and Humanity

Now, don’t think he was all serious and statesmanlike. Oh no — he had a wicked sense of humour.

He couldn’t help laughing, even at himself — because that’s what humour did for him: it connected, it healed, it humanised. He used humour to put people at ease, to remind us that we’re all human.

In leadership, a bit of laughter goes a long way — it makes people want to follow you, not fear you.

9. Strength and Wisdom

He didn’t suffer fools — make no mistake about that. He had little patience for those who loved the sound of their own voice, or laziness, dishonesty or arrogance. And he was always fair. Ask his grandchildren.

He sought counsel from people who disagreed with him. He surrounded himself with those who would ask the tough questions, not with ‘yes-men’. He believed that leadership wasn’t about being right, but about getting it right. That required wisdom and humility.

10. His Love for Children

Of all his qualities, perhaps the one that touched me most, and that I covet the most today, was his love for children. He’d light up when surrounded by kids — he’d crouch down to their level, shake hands, ask questions, tease, laugh. Sing ‘Twinkle, twinkle little star’ WITH them!

He genuinely believed that the future of South Africa lived in those small faces. He often said, “There can be no keener revelation of a society’s soul than the way it treats its children.”

That’s your calling. You are the custodians of that future — shaping the next generation of South African leaders. He would have admired your work — because he loved teachers – especially maths and science btw! He understood that teaching is nation-building.

Closing Reflections

So, what did I learn from Madiba — and what might you take with you today?

Lead by serving. Listen deeply. Use every voice around you. Be punctual, respectful and humble. Celebrate success. Keep learning. Laugh often. Love the children — they are your legacy.

Madiba taught me that leadership is not about the size of your office or the title on your door. It’s about the impact you make in the lives of others — one conversation, one classroom, one act of kindness at a time.

So as you go back to your schools and your teams, remember: It is a privilege to lead — and an even greater privilege to lead children. Thank you.”

PS – Rory had lots of stories to illustrate his points, so be sure to engage more with him when your paths cross. You will be richer for it!