‘Are you OK?’ The question that can transform an insurance claim

This article forms part of CN&CO’s series covering The Insurance Conference Western Cape 2026. Across the series, we revisit the ideas, stories and conversations shared by the conference’s speakers, highlighting the insights that are shaping insurance, business and leadership in a changing world.

Imagine you have just been involved in a car accident. You are standing at the side of the road, shaken and staring at your damaged vehicle. Perhaps your children are in the car. You may be late for work, unsure what to do next and making an insurance claim for the first time.

You call your insurer. The person who answers asks for your policy number. It is a perfectly reasonable question. They need the number to begin the claims process.

Now imagine that the first thing they say is: “I’m sorry this has happened. Are you OK? Let’s take this one step at a time.”

The information required has not changed. The policy, regulations and process remain exactly the same. But the human experience is completely different.

For Kate Weaver-Gibbs, CEO of Are You OK? and a mental wellbeing facilitator at Global Choices, this small shift captures the power of empathy in insurance.

Speaking at The Insurance Conference Western Cape 2026, Kate challenged the industry to see empathy not as something soft or sentimental, but as a practical discipline that shapes relationships, builds trust and changes the way people experience insurance.

We hear the same music differently

Kate spoke immediately after pianist Charl du Plessis, whose performance provided a fitting introduction to her theme.

A composer may create a piece with one intention. A musician brings another layer of interpretation to it. Then every person in the audience receives the music through their own experiences, memories and frame of reference. The notes are the same, but the experience is not.

“What sounds uplifting to one person may feel frantic or sombre to another,” Kate said. “We can hear the same words and see the same situation without experiencing them in the same way. That is where empathy begins.”

The same is true throughout insurance. One person sees a procedure; another sees a crisis. One sees claim number 49 of the day; another sees the worst day of their year — or possibly their life.

Empathy asks us to pause long enough to recognise that difference.

The person behind the policy

For an insurance professional, a claim may involve gathering information, checking a policy and following a defined process. For the policyholder, it can represent a lifetime of memories destroyed in a fire, a livelihood washed away by a flood, the fear of a serious illness or the empty space left by the death of a partner.

“We may see a claim number,” Kate said. “They see an entire life.”

Empathy does not mean accepting abuse or abandoning boundaries. It means becoming curious about what may be happening beneath the behaviour. People in distress do not always communicate calmly. They may shout, become defensive or send five emails about the same issue. Their behaviour is visible, but its context often is not.

A frustrated “I’ve already explained this” can become: “I hear how difficult this has been. Let’s work through it together.”

That change may not alter the outcome of the claim, but it tells the person that they have been heard and treated with dignity. Those moments create trust, patience and long-term loyalty.

A human chain, not a value chain

Empathy is often discussed in relation to customers, but Kate encouraged the audience to extend it to everyone involved in insurance.

“A broker sits between a client who wants an immediate answer and an insurer who needs more information,” said Kate. “At the same time, the broker may be managing dozens of clients, renewals, compliance requirements and an overflowing inbox.

“An underwriter frequently has to say no. Empathy does not require them to accept every risk or avoid difficult decisions. It allows them to be clear without being cold, professional without being robotic and firm while still treating people with respect.

“Claims professionals spend their days absorbing stories of accidents, fires, death, fraud, anger and loss. They then return home to their own pressures, relationships and heartbreaks.

“We cannot expect people to absorb everyone else’s distress without creating somewhere for their own distress to go,” Kate said.

The employee expected to deliver an empathetic customer experience must also experience empathy inside the organisation. A supported colleague is more likely to support a client. A respected underwriter can communicate a difficult decision with greater confidence and care.

Empathy travels through the chain — but so does its absence.

Strength, not softness

Kate described empathy as a competency, a choice and a discipline. It takes conscious effort, particularly in workplaces driven by deadlines, targets and outcomes.

It also takes courage.

“It requires strength to say, ‘I got that wrong’, ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I need help’,” she said.

Good leadership creates enough safety for people to admit mistakes, ask questions and acknowledge when they are struggling. If they cannot do that, problems do not disappear; they simply go underground.

Empathy does not prevent leaders from negotiating, challenging poor performance or making commercially difficult decisions. It improves their ability to do these things without diminishing the person in front of them.

The insurance value chain may sound mechanical: policyholder, broker, underwriter, insurer, assessor, administrator and reinsurer. In reality, it is a human chain. Every person’s experience affects the next person.

Stop, look and listen

Kate left the audience with a simple three-part challenge.

First, stop. When frustration begins to rise, pause before an assumption becomes words or behaviour that weakens a relationship.

Then look. Try to see beyond what the person is saying. What might they be experiencing that is not immediately visible?

Finally, listen — with open ears, eyes and heart.

A useful question is: “If I were in their position, what would I need from me right now?”

That question should also be directed inward. We are often kinder to other people than we are to ourselves. We encourage an exhausted colleague to rest and then expect ourselves to power through. We forgive another person’s mistake while punishing ourselves for our own.

“Self-empathy is not self-indulgence,” Kate said. “It does not make you less professional. It simply makes you human.”

People who feel heard are more likely to trust. People who trust are more likely to communicate. Better communication reduces misunderstanding, strengthens relationships and encourages clients and colleagues to stay.

Insurance is built to protect people from uncertainty. Its future will depend not only on better systems and policies, but on the people delivering that promise.

Empathy is not merely a soft skill. It is a relationship skill — and insurance is ultimately a relationship business.