The Company We Keep: Fifty and Fabulous!

The Company We Keep is a column on the CN&CO blog that profiles some of the most interesting people in our networks. Here we share the details of the lives of people we know, showcasing the extraordinary diversity of our society and proving that people truly are at the heart of everything we do.

This blog was written by Colin Ford, who has quite a few friends turning 50 this year…

It occurred to me recently that I have a lot of friends turning 50 this year. On the whole, they are quite chilled about it – except for one, who is close to hysterical! (I’ll leave you to guess who.)

On my 50^th birthday, South Africa went into Covid lockdown. My year of being 50 was governed by social distancing, silly rules, masks, no gatherings and no travel. But things got better. I celebrated my 50^th on my 51^st, which wasn’t the worst thing in the world, and life went on.

Now approaching 54, I have no regrets. My 50s have been tumultuous in some respects, but each year gets better. Still closer to 50 than 60, I look forward to what’s next.

I asked my friends born in 1974 a few questions about their half-century on the planet. As expected, there’s a lot in here about music, travel, relationships and language, which is why we are such good friends!

Danielle de Grooth (27 January)

Danielle is the founder, owner and CEO of Design Lounge. Over the years we have developed close personal and professional relationships. We play a dorky music game on WhatsApp where we send each other obscure song lyrics. The recipient then has to come up with the artist and song title. So far I think I am slightly in the lead, but every now and then she comes up with a real pearler. (Read on to find out more about Danielle’s music tastes.)

Danielle is also a member of the Thursday Next Book Club.

Here’s her Q&A:

What advice would your 50-year-old self give to your 25-year-old self?

I have often wondered what I would say to my younger self if I could go back in time. Not to sweat the petty stuff, to rethink those go-go boots and to invest in Apple (the usual ‘Back to the Future’ ideas).

Truth is, my younger self wasn’t too smart when it came to advice. I apparently knew everything at that age! But I would try and convince 25-year-old me to leave the drama behind. I spent so much time worrying about things I had no control over or were actually not that important. Also to stop striving to be something I was not. And that being my own person is just fine!

It’s definitely a life lesson that (sadly) for me only came with age.

Aside from that, I would try and convince me to learn discipline and focus, and to prepare more for the future.

If you could time-travel back to any moment from your first 50 years, what would it be and why?

I recently saw some ‘vintage’ photos of Scottburgh beach, a favourite holiday destination for my family. I will always remember the gorgeous beach, the little day-long settlement we established on the grassy knoll near the inlet, playing with my dad in the (E.coli-free) surf and how it was the perfect place for me, my bucket and my spade. I would love to join that family, eat a messy Choc 99 while breathing in the smell of Coppertone and salty air.

Alternatively, I would visit my grandmother (who I dearly loved) and I would dress up and have tea and crumpets with her at Greaterman’s in Jo’burg city. And maybe try and advise her to invest in Apple?

If your life had a soundtrack, what would be the top song for each decade of your life so far?

That’s a ridiculous question! Music is life! I’ll give it a go, though….

70s: Anything by ABBA. They were on a constant repeat in our house as well as with our extended family. If I had to choose, I would say Chiquitita.

80s: U2? Depeche Mode? All the usual suspects. But I would probably go with something from A-ha – Manhattan Skyline.

90s: All about the club hits, trip hop and grunge! But with a gun to my head, I would say Letting the Cables Sleep by Bush.

2000s: My era of discovering indie music. Not easy to choose. First thing that comes to mind is Destiny by Zero 7.

2010: This is where I start to feel my age. Delving back into more blues and rock. But for that time, I would say the Lonely Boy cover by The Avener

2020s: Definitely feeling my age! My Spotify playlists are all vintage now. Don’t tell but I secretly love a bit of Harry Styles. And If I had to choose, I would say Blinding Lights by The Weeknd.

Carel Nolte (4 April)

Carel and I met at Hollard in December 2000. We immediately became firm friends. Over the years we have worked, jolled, chilled, fought, cried, laughed and travelled together. He is also a member of the Thursday Next Book Club.

When I chose Carel’s questions, I knew exactly what his answers would be. We laughed a lot about that fact after he sent them and I was, of course, proven correct. Here they are:

What’s the most memorable party or event you’ve attended in your first 50 years?

I cannot choose just one – sorry! I have been extremely lucky to have experienced loads of wonderful events over the years. A few highlights:

My first BurningMan in the Nevada desert in 2007
The masked festival in Burkina Faso
My 21st at Blaauwklippen Wine Farm
Adele live in Las Vegas
World Universities Debating Championship opening party in Stellenbosch
Opening Night of Mamma Mia in London West End
Soccer World Cup in Brazil
Pappie naweek with the Stellenbosch AGM
Etana RedFest in Dullstroom and Hollard conference in Durban
Dancing in the Rainbow Room New York with my friend Michele Katz
Being on a red couch on the Ellis Park field as the Lions won the Curry Cup
Every birthday party, wedding and dinner party my friends have invited me to. Seriously. Every single one.

If you could choose a historical figure to join your 50th birthday celebration, who would it be and why?

Easy – Shakespeare. He’d be the best dressed. Drink loads with me. Make me laugh. And cry. The man is a genius.

What’s a piece of advice or wisdom you’ve received that has stuck with you through the years?

Every single person can teach you something. To whom much is given, much is expected. Don’t be a doos, be lekker. Say sorry. Read. Love. Laugh, a lot, especially at yourself. Take what you do seriously, not yourself. Respect your parents. Diversity is phenomenal. Read. Wear sunscreen. Be generous. Expect the best from people, including yourself.

Michele Katz (30 April)

Michele and I have also been friends since the Hollard days. Like with Carel, Michele and I have worked, jolled, chilled, cried, laughed and travelled together. (But, unlike Carel, Michele and I have never fought.)

Michele sets the scene from her riverside flat in Perth, Australia: It’s Sunday morning here, at 11h39 to be exact, as I sat down to read through your questions. I am playing “Carel’s 50th birthday playlist” that he shared on Spotify and Mafikizolo, Ndihamba Nawe just came on. Feeling a bit homesick… but here goes:

What’s the most unexpected or surprising thing you’ve learned about yourself in the past 50 years?

I am going to be a lot more specific and share the most surprising thing I have learned about myself since moving to Australia a few months ago: I actually do have a sense of direction!

Literally speaking, although navigation doesn’t come naturally to me, as those who know me will attest to, when you have no choice (like moving to a different country), you have to rely on your inner boldness. Somehow you become a bit better at it, then great at it!

Metaphorically speaking – I think I have always had a sense of direction: the direction and strength to change and to be brave!

If you had to create a ’50 at 50′ bucket list, what would be the top three items on it?

Funny that all are travel related lol – I guess that’s always been where my passion is :))

3. Being able to have fluent Spanish conversations in a Spanish-speaking country with the locals

2. Tour Japan (particularly in cherry blossom season)

1. Planning (a decade) for the year-long round-the-world cruise with my fabulous fellow almost-50-year-old Careltjie!! So… another blog when we hit 60 on the cruise 😉 ?

What’s a piece of advice or wisdom you’ve received that has stuck with you through the years?

It comes from a very wise and trusted source 🙂 – my sister, Joss. Many years ago, probably 25 years ago, she told me when I was going through a hard break up with my very first boyfriend, she said “Mishy, there is no way through it, but through it.” I found that so simply powerful then, but even more so as I have gotten older. And each time I face a challenging or tough time, I hear her in my head and I face head-on what I have to.

My leaving thoughts, as I approach turning 50: What matters to me – clichéd but true, Health & Happiness – it is as uncluttered and uncomplicated as that. It covers being able to still touch my toes and sit cross legged at yoga class, to having a Balinese massage place next door to me, my not-so-secret, almost daily indulgence of sitting on my balcony and watching the sunset. These are my small joys which make me healthy and unbelievably happy 🙂

Karen Kleingeld (14 September)

Karen and I met in our jolling days in Pretoria in the early 2000s. Although she lives in beautiful Bonnievale now, on the banks of the Breede River, we are still really good mates and try to catch up as often as we can.

Karen is a cycling fanatic. Her hometown offers loads of amazing trails and scenic road routes, which keeps her busy and out of trouble in her free time. Also, she is surrounded by wine farms, which is never a bad thing for locals and visitors alike. I remember a particular booze ban when this proximity to the farms came in very handy!

Here’s Karen’s Q&A:

What technology or invention from the past 50 years do you find the most mind-blowing?

Honestly, there are so many inventions and machines I have seen that absolutely fascinate me. I could probably write a short story about that :-). The amazing things that enable me on a personal level, I guess, would be the ever-evolving computers and cell phones that continue making things easier and more convenient for us. A biggie on my list is my Garmin watch; I really use it to the max. All the fantastic kitchen equipment we have, and of course the beautiful coffee machine that grinds fresh beans!

I also want to include my Thule bike rack. It has been a loyal servant for the last 13 years by carrying my precious bicycles – even in the harsh Namib Desert! Oh, and then the bicycle technology that keeps on getting better (unfortunately more expensive too!).

If you could have a conversation with your 20-year-old self, what would you say?

Life is too short to have sleepless nights over negative criticism. Stop doubting yourself and live and work as if today is your last day on earth. Have lots of fun – spend quality time with friends and family. Make sure you have enough dreams to keep you excited for tomorrow. But make sure you make enough “me time” – never budge on your emotional health.

Travel, travel, travel! Never stop travelling. Nothing can ever buy the life experience and knowledge you get from seeing the beauty and different cultures of the world.

Stay a foodie. Nothing should come between your obsession with great food and wine. Plan your days around your meals 🙂

Read as much as you can. Live a healthy life. While you are blessed to have an able body, exercise and keep a balanced, healthy lifestyle.

Love your partner, family and friends unconditionally and nurture the relationships. Nobody wants to grow old and bitter.

You will be glad to know that the closer you get to 50, the more maturity sets in and the more you accept yourself for who you are (that includes those nasty fat rolls that will definitely set in. Sorry to spoil your vision of yourself as a skinny, shit-hot 50 year old. :-))

Lastly, always be kind and considerate. You haven’t walked in other people’s shoes and you don’t understand their troubles or challenges. Never underestimate the effect you may have by showing random acts of kindness.

What’s a goal or dream you’ve had since your younger years that you still want to achieve?

To master a third language. And to do a chef’s course, just for fun.

I have learned some Spanish over the years (due to my obsession with Spain). Of late I rather favour French. Someday… tal vez… peut être…