
On loss, longing, and languishing by Sharon Wakeford
We are delighted to feature a new guest contributor on our blog. Sharon Wakeford is an internationally accredited mediator and coach, who works in a wide range of settings and contexts, both inside South Africa and internationally. More than this, Sharon is a conversationalist, storycatcher, explorer, seeker, and learner. She loves to listen to, and tell stories, write, dance, laugh, and play. She is deeply drawn into the space of questions and reflection that invite people, herself included, into being a touch bolder, a shade braver, and a little different in ‘who they be’ and ‘how they do’.
A not-quite-smiling face looks up at me. A face that must show both ears and is not allowed to smile. Two requirements for a Schengen Visa application photo. My face. I look down on the photograph, released from its plastic sleeve, along with an old passport and the Capago Italian Visa application form. As my eyes lower to meet the eyes looking up at me, so too does my spirit.
A sadness creeps across me, pulling the slightly upturned corners of my mouth straight, unwrinkling the crinkles around my eyes – the warm expression my face initially formed into when I first saw the photo while sorting through a pile of papers from my office cupboard. The sadness gains weight as it crawls down my shoulders, over my chest and into my stomach. I want to look away from the photograph, to be freed from the dark curtain its lightness is paradoxically pulling across my being.
The lightness and anticipation the not-quite-smiling picture holds. The picture, a passport of its own to excitement and experience, to stepping into the unknown of people and place. A visa for my first trip to the International Labour Organisation’s training centre in Turin. March 2014. What wonders awaited. Wonders maybe sensed and reflected in the ease and unspoken enthusiasm pulsing gently from the four corners of the picture.
The smiling sadness grows. I strain to look away, an act of self-protection. Out of the window, a wintry Sunday afternoon winds down further. The day’s last thin light seeps away. Further into the sorrow I slide, the melancholy of 18 months of a passport in hibernation, of steps not taken, conversations not had, connections not made. The absence of meeting of hearts and minds, even more so, the absence of meeting of hands.
Yes, the past year has brought surprising riches of online connection, but how enormously, and increasingly acutely, I am feeling the loss of being and working with people in physical presence. In the noisy flow of words and ways and stories, and in the subtleties and nuances of the unsaid, of body language, or simply in the “sweet territory of silence”[1].
No longer the challenge of crossing the frontier into meaningful online connection, but a return to, a bottomless yearning for the weaving together of people and process in a single place. A respite from the state of languishing to which recently, I seem to be a regular visitor – a state of greater muddling through and lessened motivation.[2] And for me, an antidote to the muddling and low-grade motivation, an elixir of travel and human touch – an elixir entirely unknown in its timing.
My eyes return to the photograph and the visa application form. With a surge of mixed emotions, I retrieve a pair of big orange office scissors from my pencil box. I cut the photo into pieces. They flutter and land in a box of anonymous recycling, leaving me free of the light not-quite-smiling eyes, but unreleased from the unhappy turning and churning in my stomach.
[1] Angles Arrien
[2] Adam Grant in a recent New York Times article entitled ‘There’s a name for the blah you’re feeling: It’s called languishing’, described languishing as a feeling of stagnation and emptiness, an emotion he contends might be the dominant emotion of 2021. He argues that by acknowledging it, we can start “giving a voice to this quiet despair and lighting a path out of the void”.
Comments 282
-
FloydvoT
buying prescription drugs in mexico online: Mexican Pharmacy Online – reputable mexican pharmacies online
-
835666 215932You recognize, many persons are looking around for this info, you can help them greatly. 441518
-
-
Rodneyjoura
mexico drug stores pharmacies https://mexicaneasypharm.com/# Mexican Easy Pharm
buying prescription drugs in mexico online -
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Michaelheish
https://farmaprodotti.com/# migliori farmacie online 2024
farmacia online senza ricetta -
Michaelheish
http://farmaprodotti.com/# п»їFarmacia online migliore
Farmacie on line spedizione gratuita -
-
-
Brianken
migliori farmacie online 2024 https://farmaprodotti.shop/# acquistare farmaci senza ricetta
acquisto farmaci con ricetta -
Williamgobby
Live dealer games enhance the casino experience. http://jugabet.xyz/# Los jackpots progresivos atraen a los jugadores.
-
Davidcog
http://taya365.art/# The ambiance is designed to excite players.
Poker rooms host exciting tournaments regularly. -
-
-
Davidcog
https://phmacao.life/# Most casinos offer convenient transportation options.
Casinos offer delicious dining options on-site. -
-
Williamgobby
Players must be at least 21 years old. https://taya777.icu/# The Philippines has a vibrant nightlife scene.
-
-
-
Davidcog
https://jugabet.xyz/# Los jugadores deben conocer las reglas.
Security measures ensure a safe environment. -
Williamgobby
п»їCasinos in the Philippines are highly popular. http://winchile.pro/# Los casinos reciben turistas de todo el mundo.
-
-
Davidcog
https://taya365.art/# Slot machines feature various exciting themes.
Live music events often accompany gaming nights. -
-
-
Williamgobby
Players enjoy both fun and excitement in casinos. http://jugabet.xyz/# Las mГЎquinas tienen diferentes niveles de apuesta.
-
-
Davidcog
http://phmacao.life/# Casino promotions draw in new players frequently.
Casino visits are a popular tourist attraction. -
-
Williamgobby
Some casinos have luxurious spa facilities. http://phmacao.life/# Cashless gaming options are becoming popular.
-
-
-
Davidcog
http://jugabet.xyz/# Hay casinos en Santiago y ViГ±a del Mar.
The casino scene is constantly evolving. -
Williamgobby
Casinos offer delicious dining options on-site. https://jugabet.xyz/# La diversiГіn nunca se detiene en los casinos.
-
Davidcog
http://taya365.art/# The ambiance is designed to excite players.
Live dealer games enhance the casino experience. -
-
-
Williamgobby
Responsible gaming initiatives are promoted actively. https://taya365.art/# Casino visits are a popular tourist attraction.
-
-
Davidcog
https://winchile.pro/# Los jugadores deben jugar con responsabilidad.
The casino atmosphere is thrilling and energetic. -
-
-
Williamgobby
Poker rooms host exciting tournaments regularly. https://phmacao.life/# Some casinos have luxurious spa facilities.
-
Davidcog
https://winchile.pro/# Muchos casinos tienen salas de bingo.
Game rules can vary between casinos. -
-
-
Davidcog
http://jugabet.xyz/# Las apuestas mГnimas son accesibles para todos.
Manila is home to many large casinos. -
-
Williamgobby
Casinos offer delicious dining options on-site. http://jugabet.xyz/# La pasiГіn por el juego une a personas.
-
-
Davidcog
http://jugabet.xyz/# Los croupiers son amables y profesionales.
The gaming floors are always bustling with excitement. -
-
Williamgobby
The casino atmosphere is thrilling and energetic. http://phmacao.life/# Many casinos provide shuttle services for guests.
-
Davidcog
http://taya365.art/# Promotions are advertised through social media channels.
Security measures ensure a safe environment. -
-
-
-
Davidcog
http://taya777.icu/# Entertainment shows are common in casinos.
The thrill of winning keeps players engaged. -
-
-
Davidcog
https://taya777.icu/# High rollers receive exclusive treatment and bonuses.
Slot machines feature various exciting themes. -
-
-
-
Davidcog
https://phmacao.life/# Manila is home to many large casinos.
Most casinos offer convenient transportation options. -
Davidcog
http://winchile.pro/# Los croupiers son amables y profesionales.
The casino atmosphere is thrilling and energetic. -
-
-
Davidcog
http://winchile.pro/# La adrenalina es parte del juego.
The Philippines has several world-class integrated resorts. -
-
-
Williamgobby
Players must be at least 21 years old. http://phtaya.tech/# Many casinos host charity events and fundraisers.
-
Davidcog
http://jugabet.xyz/# La diversiГіn nunca se detiene en los casinos.
Many casinos provide shuttle services for guests. -
-
-
-
-
Davidcog
https://taya777.icu/# Players often share tips and strategies.
The thrill of winning keeps players engaged. -
-
Williamgobby
Loyalty programs reward regular customers generously. http://taya365.art/# Many casinos provide shuttle services for guests.
-
Davidcog
https://taya365.art/# Game rules can vary between casinos.
The gaming floors are always bustling with excitement. -
-
-
-
-
-
Davidcog
https://phtaya.tech/# Online gaming is also growing in popularity.
Live music events often accompany gaming nights. -
-
-
Davidcog
http://taya777.icu/# Loyalty programs reward regular customers generously.
Many casinos provide shuttle services for guests. -
-
Williamgobby
The poker community is very active here. http://taya365.art/# Slot tournaments create friendly competitions among players.
-
-
Michaelnab
canadian pharmacy coupon code https://xxlmexicanpharm.com/# mexican border pharmacies shipping to usa
-
-
Charlesbox
cheapest pharmacy to get prescriptions filled http://easycanadianpharm.com/# easy canadian pharm
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Michaelnab
canadian pharmacy world coupons https://xxlmexicanpharm.com/# reputable mexican pharmacies online
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Charlesbox
online pharmacy no prescription needed https://megaindiapharm.com/# top 10 pharmacies in india
-
-
-
-
-
-
Michaelnab
canadian pharmacy no prescription https://discountdrugmart.pro/# pharmacy without prescription
-
-
-
Charlesbox
cheapest pharmacy to get prescriptions filled http://familypharmacy.company/# online pharmacy delivery usa
-
-
-
-
-
Michaelnab
cheapest pharmacy for prescriptions without insurance http://xxlmexicanpharm.com/# xxl mexican pharm
-
-
-
-
-
Michaelnab
canadian pharmacy without prescription https://familypharmacy.company/# Cheapest online pharmacy
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Michaelnab
drugstore com online pharmacy prescription drugs https://megaindiapharm.com/# buy prescription drugs from india
-
-
Charlesbox
canadian prescription pharmacy https://xxlmexicanpharm.shop/# buying from online mexican pharmacy
-
-
-
-
-
-
Charlesbox
drugstore com online pharmacy prescription drugs http://xxlmexicanpharm.com/# mexican pharmaceuticals online
-
-
Michaelnab
online pharmacy no prescription needed https://easycanadianpharm.shop/# canadian pharmacy ratings
-
-
-
-
-
-
Charlesbox
canadian pharmacy world coupon https://easycanadianpharm.com/# online canadian pharmacy reviews
-
-
-
-
Michaelnab
uk pharmacy no prescription https://easycanadianpharm.shop/# reliable canadian pharmacy reviews
-
Charlesbox
overseas pharmacy no prescription https://xxlmexicanpharm.com/# medicine in mexico pharmacies
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Charlesbox
cheapest pharmacy to get prescriptions filled https://easycanadianpharm.com/# canadian pharmacy price checker
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Portertap
reputable mexican pharmacies online mexican drugstore online buying from online mexican pharmacy
-
Charlesbox
canadian pharmacy world coupon code http://xxlmexicanpharm.com/# best online pharmacies in mexico
-
Michaelnab
prescription free canadian pharmacy http://easycanadianpharm.com/# best mail order pharmacy canada
-
-
Williediz
Slot dengan pembayaran tinggi selalu diminati http://slot88.company/# Permainan slot bisa dimainkan dengan berbagai taruhan
-
Jamesweway
Kasino di Jakarta memiliki berbagai pilihan permainan http://bonaslot.site/# Slot menjadi bagian penting dari industri kasino
-
-
-
-
Williediz
Slot menjadi daya tarik utama di kasino https://bonaslot.site/# Kasino di Indonesia menyediakan hiburan yang beragam
-
Jamesweway
Slot dengan grafis 3D sangat mengesankan http://preman69.tech/# Banyak pemain menikmati jackpot harian di slot
-
-
-
Williediz
Kasino di Indonesia menyediakan hiburan yang beragam http://preman69.tech/# Slot dengan tema film terkenal menarik banyak perhatian
-
-
-
Jamesweway
Slot modern memiliki grafik yang mengesankan http://slotdemo.auction/# Kasino selalu memperbarui mesin slotnya
-
Williediz
Permainan slot mudah dipahami dan menyenangkan http://slot88.company/# Slot menawarkan kesenangan yang mudah diakses
-
-
-
Williediz
Kasino menyediakan layanan pelanggan yang baik http://preman69.tech/# Keseruan bermain slot selalu menggoda para pemain
-
-
-
Williediz
Kasino sering mengadakan turnamen slot menarik http://preman69.tech/# Kasino selalu memperbarui mesin slotnya
-
-
Jamesweway
Banyak kasino memiliki program loyalitas untuk pemain http://slotdemo.auction/# Slot dengan bonus putaran gratis sangat populer
-
Williediz
Pemain sering mencoba berbagai jenis slot https://slot88.company/# Permainan slot mudah dipahami dan menyenangkan
-
-
-
-
-
-
Williediz
Kasino menawarkan pengalaman bermain yang seru https://bonaslot.site/# Keseruan bermain slot selalu menggoda para pemain
-
-
-
Williediz
Keseruan bermain slot selalu menggoda para pemain https://garuda888.top/# п»їKasino di Indonesia sangat populer di kalangan wisatawan
-
-
-
-
Williediz
Permainan slot mudah dipahami dan menyenangkan https://preman69.tech/# Mesin slot dapat dimainkan dalam berbagai bahasa
-
-
-
Williediz
Slot dengan grafis 3D sangat mengesankan http://preman69.tech/# Slot dengan tema film terkenal menarik banyak perhatian
-
-
-
Williediz
Slot klasik tetap menjadi favorit banyak orang http://garuda888.top/# Permainan slot mudah dipahami dan menyenangkan
-
-
-
Williediz
Keseruan bermain slot selalu menggoda para pemain https://slotdemo.auction/# Slot menjadi bagian penting dari industri kasino
-
-
-
Williediz
Slot menjadi daya tarik utama di kasino http://bonaslot.site/# Permainan slot mudah dipahami dan menyenangkan
-
-
Williediz
Jackpot progresif menarik banyak pemain https://preman69.tech/# Pemain harus menetapkan batas saat bermain
-
-
-
Williediz
Slot dengan tema film terkenal menarik banyak perhatian https://garuda888.top/# Slot dengan bonus putaran gratis sangat populer
-
Aaronpaupe
preman69 [url=http://preman69.tech/#]preman69 slot[/url] п»їKasino di Indonesia sangat populer di kalangan wisatawan
-
-
Williediz
Mesin slot menawarkan berbagai tema menarik https://slot88.company/# Jackpot besar bisa mengubah hidup seseorang
-
-
-
Williediz
п»їKasino di Indonesia sangat populer di kalangan wisatawan http://garuda888.top/# Slot modern memiliki grafik yang mengesankan
-
-
-
-
Williediz
Banyak kasino memiliki program loyalitas untuk pemain http://garuda888.top/# Slot memberikan kesempatan untuk menang besar
-
-
Williediz
Kasino mendukung permainan bertanggung jawab http://preman69.tech/# Mesin slot menawarkan pengalaman bermain yang cepat
-
-
Jamesweway
Banyak pemain menikmati jackpot harian di slot https://garuda888.top/# Pemain sering berbagi tips untuk menang
-
Williediz
Slot menawarkan kesenangan yang mudah diakses https://garuda888.top/# Kasino di Bali menarik banyak pengunjung
-
-
Williediz
Permainan slot bisa dimainkan dengan berbagai taruhan https://preman69.tech/# Slot menawarkan berbagai jenis permainan bonus
-
Jamesweway
Jackpot progresif menarik banyak pemain http://preman69.tech/# Bermain slot bisa menjadi pengalaman sosial
-
-
Williediz
Kasino memiliki suasana yang energik dan menyenangkan https://preman69.tech/# Mesin slot baru selalu menarik minat
-
-
-
-
Brandonanill
where to get cheap clomid without a prescription: ClmHealthPharm – can you buy generic clomid no prescription
-
Justintropy
can you buy doxycycline over the counter nz: Dox Health Pharm – cost of doxycycline 50 mg
-
Brianidefs
can i purchase clomid tablets: how to get clomid price – can you get generic clomid without insurance
-
-
-
-
VirgilKaw
can i buy cheap clomid no prescription can i buy clomid online can you buy clomid without prescription
-
-
-
-
-
Brandonanill
can i buy amoxicillin over the counter in australia: AmoHealthPharm – amoxicillin 775 mg
-
-
Suivre Téléphone
Comment récupérer les SMS supprimés sur mobile? Il n’y a pas de corbeille pour les messages texte, alors comment restaurer les messages texte après les avoir supprimés?